The No's

“Someday, you’ll know how cool I was. How often I said yes… when other moms would say no. Someday, we will get past all of the no’s you need but don’t want. Cause you can’t yet see all the things I see. Someday.

For now, I will hold onto the smiles from all the yes’s in those moments when I see tears from the no’s. For now, I will know that we are both doing the best we can for each other. For now, I will paint fan blades with cow print that I know you will change your mind about. Maybe tomorrow. Because the yes is worth it all. Because this yes will hold us up through the next no.

And someday, you’ll look back and see that the yes’s far outnumbered the no’s. You’ll see that the no’s were there to protect you. Someday, you’ll know how cool I was.

Today, I’ll just be ok with knowing how cool you are.”

I had this experience with my daughter recently. And it meant so much to me. Saying no to my kids is so hard sometimes. It breaks my heart to think that I have broken theirs. But. Saying no is so very necessary. There are so many things that they want that aren’t what is best for them. And there is no way that they can see as much of the picture from their perspective as I can from mine. I’ve been through so much more than they have. So much that I want them NOT to go through. So I have to say no. To protect. To teach. To love them well.

And it leads me to wonder…

Is this how my heavenly Father feels, too?

I am often amazed by how much I learn about God through what I go through as a parent. They teach me at least as much as I teach them.

He has to say no sometimes. To love me well. To teach me. To protect me. He has seen so much more than I will ever know. He sees it all. And there is no way that I can see as much of the picture from my perspective as He can from His all-seeing one. He knows what’s best for me… and it’s often not what I want for myself. So telling me no is so very necessary, even when I think it’s breaking my heart. Even when I get angry and fight Him. Even when I run away from His plans for me.

He’s writing to me today. Perhaps this note is for you as well.

“Someday, you’ll know how much I love you. How often I said no… when disappointing you broke My heart. Someday, you will get past all of the no’s you need but don’t want. Cause you can’t yet see all the things I see. Someday.

For now, I will hold onto you when you push Me away. For now, I will know that you are doing the best you can to understand My great plans for you. For now, I will love you more than you can ever imagine. Because I know this is worth it all. YOU are worth it all.

And someday, you’ll look back and see that the yes’s far outnumbered the no’s. You’ll see that the no’s were there to protect you. Someday, you’ll know how much you love Me. Today, I’ll just be ok knowing how much I love you.”